Visitors Requested

In the spirit of not wanting to take my time and experience here for granted, I've come to realize that I appreciate being here a lot more when I am able to share it with people. Pretty obvious, right? Well, considering I've been spending a lot of my time recently up on the mountain - mostly alone due to house-sitting - I am in desperate need of company! That paired with the fact that I just realized I only have a month and a half left here means PEOPLE NEED TO COME VISIT ME!!!! Do it! You know you want to, and when are you going to get this opportunity again?! Come visit, come visit, come visit, come visit, COME VISIT!

Thank you, that is all. :)

Is Time Flying or Dragging?

Earlier today I posted the following to my Twitter account:

So many different aspects to my month of January that it's gone by quickly but seems like forever since it began. #weird

For further explanation beyond 140 characters, when I think of how much time I have left here in Hawaii and how much I need to get done (and how much I have gotten done this since arriving back from my holiday vacation) it seems like time is flying. I can't believe it's already the end of January!

However, when I think back to the beginning of this month, it's hard to believe that I was in Nebraska, ringing in the New Year with good friends, the five fantastically wonderful days I had with friends and family in Nebraska before heading back to Hawaii, spending time with the Peterson's before they left, meeting and hanging out with Kylie (Gary's January intern) for two weeks and all the adventures we had, dealing with Capstone drama, having Gary's son come for a two week visit, Kylie leaving, turning my focus to RPQs, having Gary's mom and aunt arrive for a visit, beginning work on this Diversity Grant, dealing with high school drama at work... etc, etc, etc.

So much has happened that it seems impossible that it's only been a month! I mean, I've had more comings-and-goings & events happen in the past four weeks than I did in the majority of my first four months here! January 1st seems like a-whole-nother life ago (I'm exaggerating, obviously, but still...).

So, I can't really tell... is time flying or dragging?

Not taking this for granted...

Okay, I admit, some of my last few posts have leaned toward the negative side. However, I want to clarify that this doesn't mean that I'm unhappy with where I'm at.

I'm house sitting for my host-family (they're in Vegas for a Senior Olympics thing). It's been nice having the place to myself and not just hanging out in my room. For the past two nights I've hung out in the living room watching cheesy movies on TV. The design of my host-family's house is pretty open, so when I'm sitting in the living room I can still see the incredible view of the ocean. It's been so gorgeous out in the evening that I decided to take it all in and sit out on the balcony enjoying the weather, the view, and the stars.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to star-gaze. I get so mesmerized by star-gazing that I can usually do it for hours and not even notice that time has gone by. It's definitely one of my happy places. So, after about a half hour of enjoying the view & weather from the balcony I was about to go inside when I looked straight up and realized it was a beautiful clear evening sky... in Hawaii. Of course I had to capitalize on it! I ended up watching the stars for hours. So long, in fact, that I must have fallen asleep at one point because I woke up on the balcony to the stars (still gorgeous weather) a couple hours later than the previous time I had check the time on my cell phone. *blissful sigh*

It was such an amazing experience that I had to do it again tonight. I didn't fall asleep this time, but I was so amazingly content that I didn't want to get up and go inside once I became tired. This is when I realized how incredibly lucky I am to be where I am. I'm not taking this for granted. There may be some cruddy aspects to what I'm doing here, but when and where is there not? I appreciate the gift/opportunity that has been given to me, and despite the negative aspects, for the remainder of my month and a half left here in Hawaii I refuse to take this experience for granted! :)

Diversity Grant Addendum

I'm starting to get really pumped for this Diversity/Cultural day event we're in the beginning of planning. Tonight we had another planning meeting where we met with individuals from the different cultural groups we were thinking of incorporating into the event. The energy was out of this world! I think I might just see if I can change my Capstone project to this... I don't know what that will entail, but it wasn't that difficult to write a proposal. Maybe I'll just write another Capstone proposal, submit it, and see what my advisor says (when she gets back).

Bad Day

Bad days... they suck. I know I'm stating the obvious, but for realz... they suck.

Today didn't start out bad. It was my first day back in the office since Monday (I worked from home the past two days for multiple reasons, one of which was the damn high school like antics from Monday). It was quiet... for the most part (no people around to annoy me, but periodic construction outside is horrible with this building's open-air design... It's okay though, I had my headphones with me). Gary worked from home because the University is renovating his building, and his mother & aunt are in town... meaning I didn't have a particular assignment today so I could work on academics or other things if necessary. Seems like I should've had a pretty low-key day...

I did... for the most part. It turned bad this afternoon when, over lunch, I decided to job search for when I move back to the mainland come March. I thought it would be a good idea to get a jump on things. Every one's been asking me what I'm going to do next, am I moving back to Nebraska, what I want to do with my life, if I'm going to wait until this summer to enter the "real world" or do it ASAP, etc, etc, etc. I hate those types of questions. Mainly because I don't have the answers and I hate asking those questions of myself so I really don't like it when other people shove them under my nose... publicly. I also hate how I'm in this position nearly every year! I can't remember a single year since my junior year of college where I haven't had to find answers to these questions. That was the Spring of 2006.

Anyway, I was job searching, looking at types of jobs first (you know, avoiding the location question). I came up short on opportunities. Then I started looking for jobs specifically around Nebraska... thinking that at least I could find something short term - if not long term - to tide me over. I came up short on opportunities. After an a couple hours (way past the end of my lunch), and one job not even closely related to my field of interest applied for, I started panicking.

I tried to clear my mind of those troubles by working on my RPQs. That didn't work since I've been having major writer's block in that department for over a month now. It just made me panic more. I know, I know... probably not the smartest move in the book jumping to an activity that I was already having trouble in to escape another, but it was the first thing my brain jumped to - productivity.

That's when the noise of the construction became much more intrusive. Let's just say, it kept spiraling down...

I would just like to say that I have good friends. Thanks to Rosie, Lydia, Charles, and Megan S. helped to calm me down. They might not all know that they helped, but they did. The all played vital roles in cheering me up and making me look on the bright side. It also helped that Tai Chi started back up tonight. I wasn't necessarily in the mood to go, especially after Gary & Karen bailed due to work loads & meetings, but with the outlook that they were letting me borrow a car for the evening, it would get me out of the house (that I've been trapped in for the past 2 days), and it would provide an opportunity to "clear my mind," I went. It definitely helped, as did the trip to Barnes n' Noble afterwards. I love me some books!

So, I've had a bad day. It may not seem all that bad, but in the thick of it, it sucked... as do all bad days. Things have gotten better as the evening has progressed, but those concerns are still there. My new mantra is one day and/or hour at a time (sometimes even days are getting too long to plan for). ;)

Before I end this transmission, I want to share a "Bad Day" ritual. When I was in college, and I had a horrible day, I would go to my room, shut the door, and blast my bad day music. I haven't really practiced this ritual (much) since college, but today, with all that racket the construction crew was making, and being by myself in the building, I just jammed out. The following song is the main bad day song of the playlist. Enjoy!

Motivation?

Oh yes, I have motivation... motivation to do ANYTHING besides what I need to do - capstone crap. I'm on day number two of working from home. I've told myself for the past three days straight that I was going to overcome this damn writer's block and pump out some RPQs - no matter if they were shit or not (I can always go back and make them better). But no. I can't bring myself to do it. It's almost like I'm looking for something to distract me... I'm practically making up reasons to not work on them. I don't know if this is part of the writer's block or if it's that I mentally just need a break.

I've lost most of my motivation for this assignment in general. The only thing I'm excited about these days is the cultural event we're working on for our Diversity Grant. But even thinking about that seems taxing today. I don't think you understand the level my lack of motivation has gotten to! It took me awhile even to work up the motivation to write this blog entry. I don't know if I'm just turning apathetic to the whole situation or what... maybe a part of it has to deal with me being stuck - home alone - in this house up on the mountain for two days (I can only take so much "me time"). Who knows.

I know I'm pretty unmotivated right now, but I do feel motivated to become motivated... tomorrow. That's something, right? :P

Holding Patterns...

The term "holding patterns" has been on my mind a lot recently. It came up in a phone conversation with my best friend this past weekend. We were discussing a number of topics, all of which one of us or the other felt uneasy about the situation, and Amanda so ingeniously termed it "holding pattern." I know that is all very vague, but just roll with it.

I feel like I'm in a holding pattern in many different aspects of my life. The most obvious to this forum's audience would be my academic and professional life. I'm in an internship that has kind of plateaued, I'm stuck in this off-campus phase when I just want to be done, I'm still living the transient lifestyle that has me guessing year-to-year what I'll be doing next or where I'll be next, etc, etc, etc. That may not seem "holding patten-ish" to you, but it is.

I feel stuck. I'm way passed ready for the next step to begin, but I'm nowhere near it happening. It's like I've already mentally checked out of this chapter of my life and I'm frustrated because I'm not in the next chapter. Holding Pattern. The sad thing is this isn't the only aspect of my life where I feel this way.

I'm not doing a very good job of describing this, am I? What is the solution when one feels "stuck" in their life? Better yet, what is the question that will describe the situation properly to lead to the type of solution I'm looking for?

Did anyone follow any of that?

When did I re-enroll in High School?

I'm sick of petty drama! So completely sick of it! I didn't realize I was back in high school again... at least it feels that way.

Gary has a new intern for the Spring semester (a student via UH), who happens to be Lee. :) She and I sat down to chat today, just to catch up and for her to ask me questions about interning for "Dr. Gary" as she calls him. Through this conversation she starts to vent some of her frustration about the organizational structure and 4-H's partnership with FETCH, the organization she works for (which is the reason she asked to intern with Gary b/c she already knows the ropes of FETCH). I sympathized with her. I too am frustrated with the organization structure of 4-H, how dysfunctional it is, and the complicated, uneven partnership with FETCH.

Through our venting and commiserating session, Lee mentioned certain traits of some of our building peers. These ranged from how they treat her to how they view me and Gary. Let's just say, I'm pissed. All the gossiping that's going on, the double-faced treatment, the purposeful underhandedness of some people, and the potential serious accusations one person in particular is making... it's downright childish! These people are supposed to be upper-level undergraduates, grad students, and academic professors/professionals. They're in the business of helping and educating families, yet they are immature themselves!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now the problem is whether or not I should bring this to Gary's attention (the specifics). Lee told me this in confidence via a venting session between two people, not as colleagues. I keep asking myself what would come out of me bringing this up, whether or not Gary even has time to worry about pettiness, or if it's even worth it. *sigh*

Let's just say I'm glad I'm working from home tomorrow.

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi

Today I officially registered for my (hopefully) last Hawaiian class to complete my language requirement for my degree. I see this as a milestone, even if I haven't completed the course yet. It probably helps that yesterday in the mail I received a certificate from the Kamehameha School for the course I completed back in November. The coolest part about it was that, in addition to my certificate, they sent along FOUR children's books - for FREE - about the life and times of King Kamehameha (some of the course materials we used during the course, which were all electronically supplied to us). They aren't all that fancy, but anyone who knows me and books understands why I was completely floored and excited!

I'm also excited to learn more Hawaiian because prior to Kylie leaving I was teach her words and phrases she could take back home to her family and schoolmates. Seeing her excitement reminded me of my initial excitement to learn Hawaiian. :) I'm going to rock out this language requirement!

Vacation Over

Kylie left for the mainland today.

It's weird... I only just met her 2 weeks ago, but I made a decent friend. I think it's mostly because we're close(r) in age - she's 20, I'm 25 - and everyone else we know here is significantly older. We were able to bond over being 4-H interns for Gary, knowing the quirkiness of Gary & Karen (good thing), and being tourist/residents of Hawaii. We got to explore the island of O'ahu on our days off, we had someone to socialize with at work and at home... we weren't alone thousands of miles away from everyone we know and care about.

I haven't had the easiest time here in Hawaii... don't get me wrong, it's been AMAZING, but not having anyone to socialize with beyond one's boss & his wife takes a toll. When Kylie was here it felt "normal." I actually enjoyed being in Hawaii and couldn't comprehend why I had "downsides" to being here. It was an amazing time. Then, the moment we dropped her off at the airport, and Gary & Karen dropped me off at home, it hit me harder than a ton of bricks that I was back to not being able to come & go as I pleased, to being chauffeured around, to not having someone to talk/socialize with (especially at work) on a daily basis, that I wouldn't have something to do on the weekend, and since Gary & Karen have family members in town I won't be invited out as much.

I'm making this sound worse than it really is. I really do enjoy being here in Hawaii. :) I was just shocked with the realization that I went from a lifestyle I am used to and enjoy back to the lifestyle I had prior to heading home for the holidays in a matter of seconds and - for some unknown reason - I didn't see it coming. Maybe I'm just saddened because I had a truly AMAZING time exploring and adventuring around last weekend, and this weekend I won't be leaving the house except for church on Sunday. Maybe not. I couldn't tell ya.

Anywho, the vacation is over. Back to the daily grindstone... which is still warmer and sunnier than the majority of the mainland! ;P

Diversity Grant

Today has been a crazy and hectic day, but the most notable work event was a meeting Gary & I had with a 4-H leader, Nina, about the Diversity Grant we received last fall. We met to discuss the event we had proposed in our grant narrative, which was a multi-day cultural symposium for 4-H members. However, since we didn't receive as much funding as we requested we had to figure a way to cut back but still provide an educative program.

To be honest, I didn't really want to go to this meeting. I've been disenchanted with my internship as of late, and this just seemed like one more thing we had to do that didn't really related to my capstone (topic wise it relates to my education, event wise it doesn't relate to what I am focusing on). However, I'm really glad I went. The brainstorming meeting between Nina, Gary, and myself was amazing! It reminded me of my days of summer camp planning with the other interns at St. Marks!

We broke down how much we wanted to accomplish versus how much we had in resources. We defined our PGOs (Purpose, Goals, & Objectives), we narrowed down our audience, we discussed the pros and cons to different structured activities (I even pulled out some Training Design for Experiential Learning activity suggestions), discussed possible speakers and foci, and decided on dates and venues. Very productive! But the number one thing that I thought set this meeting above numerous others I've sat through during my tenure in Hawaii was that we decided to have another planning meeting to nail out specifics that will include a portion of our intended audience in the planning as a form of needs assessment! (let the hallelujah chorus sing!)

I felt so good after that meeting. I'm kind of wondering if I should change my practicum to be about the process of this event... but that would me a really complicated Human Subjects Review. Hmmmm... decisions, decisions.

What is my role?

I've been toying with this question for awhile now. I've mentioned before about how long it's taken for me to finally get settled in this position and how no real focus was given to me, thus I had to create my own and role with it. But my confusion and frustration stems from more than just that...

During my time here with Hawai'i 4-H, my purpose was everything listed in my position description, which was designed to assist me in my academic pursuits as well as assist the organization develop and grow. However, the majority of my time has been spent as an assistant to my boss, which includes grant writing, making charts, designing presentations, organizing files, taking notes in business meetings, etc. These activities are beneficial, don't get me wrong, but none of these activities lent themselves to be overly related or useful to my academic practicum. That's why I ultimately decided to try and design my capstone around training because, even though it is a very small portion of my responsibilities, it was the one thing I could connect to my education thus far.

One thing that has *really* irked me is the fact that there is a tremendous amount of material here that relates to my field of study! I mean, my cluster situation didn't stem from nothing. However, anything that could be useful to my practicum is not something that I get to be a part of (for various reasons)... for example, the current situation on Maui is prime material for a Leadership/Community/Coalition capstone, but Gary doesn't have the funding to fly me back and forth with him to Maui all the time. Another example is the conflict situation happening within the O'ahu Livestock Council - a prime situation to apply Conflict Transformation theory and Conflict Identity theory, but Gary handles that on his own because I wont be here long enough to make an impact and my involvement will just complicate things more. Or the continuation of the mediation and processing of the situation with the 4-H Foundation, which is prime material for both Social Justice in Intercultural Relations theory and Conflict Transformation theory, but Gary doesn't think to invite me to those meetings until after they have taken place and he comes to me and says "wow, you should've been at the meeting today because [such-and-such happened] and it probably would've fit in well with your schooling."

*Frustrated* I understand that Gary is a one-man show, and that me just being here and helping out in any capacity is a good thing, but there comes a point when the benefits don't match up to what you're putting into it, and I think we've already passed that mark. This is not all Gary's fault. I willingly take some of the blame. We didn't knock out the details of me being here before I arrived (partially because Gary isn't a huge detail oriented person, and because I was just excited to be coming to Hawai'i), and haven't made major efforts to sit down and figure out what I should be doing while I was here. Mainly, we've both just be going with the flow. I think that's why my responsibilities have been so random and scattered... Gary gives me stuff when he thinks of it. However, this leads to him treating me like I'm at his beck-and-call and I have to drop everything I'm doing to do something for him (even if it's something tiny that he could've done faster himself).

I'm not optimistic that we'll find that balance before I'm through here - I only have about a month and a half left. It's not the most horrible situation in the world though, so I'll make it through. The major downside is that this makes things more complicated for me academically. Cross your fingers, ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be an interesting process!

Drugged with Productivity

I don't know what hit me yesterday and this morning, but someone must have slipped me the productivity drug because I've been on a role! Since yesterday, I have written my entire Reflective Practice Phase (RPP) Learning Plan, updated my Resume, submitted RPQ ideas, and uploaded all of these to my cluster's Moodle site. Additionally, I have worked on outlines for 2 of my RPQs, started drafting one RPQ, caught up on my RPP journal entries, debriefed with Gary about the current council situation on Maui, got in contact with a co-PI on our Diversity grant, scheduled a meeting, and discussed ideas/themes for the diversity grant event. In my non-professional/academic life, I cleaned my room, finished watching the final season of Arrested Development, and did some catching up in my emails/letter responses.

Productivity rocks!

I thought my first day back after a holiday weekend would have me dragging hardcore, but it was just the opposite! Maybe it's because I had such an amazing weekend! Whatever the reason, I'm still riding the "high" of being so productive so I am off to keep this train moving! :)

A Weekend Full of Hawaiian Adventure

I've just had an AMAZING weekend! Gary's January intern, Kylie, and I spent the whole weekend exploring the island of O'ahu. We did touristy things, and we did beach things. We had so much fun! All-in-all it was glorious!

Saturday: Karen had a lot of work to catch up on so she told Kylie & I that we could go explore on our own. We went to the swap meet (quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do) and shopped, drove through the H3 tunnel to the Kaneohe side, went to Waikiki to eat at Duke's, shop at the International Market, grab some shaved ice, and hang out at the beach. We watched the sunset (another one of my favorite Hawaiian past-times), watched a hula performance, and then headed home to make homemade Hawaiian pizzas - with real Hawaiian pineapple - for dinner and to watch movies. Great Day!

Sunday: After attending church - where Kylie performed a piece from Handel's Messiah (she's a vocal performance major) - we hiked Diamond Head, hiked to Manoa Falls, and hung out at Sandy Beach (they don't call it "sandy" for nothing... swimsuits full of a sandcastle's worth of sand). We concluded the day with a feast made of leftovers from the past few days, girl talk, and another movie night at my house to allow Gary & Karen some alone time on Gary's first night back in town.

Monday: Gary, Karen, Kylie & I headed up to the North side of the island to shop at this little market, spend the afternoon at Mokuleia Beach, and eat dinner in Haleiwa off of sunset beach. To end the evening, we had another movie night.

Glorious! :)

I do have to say it was a little weird for me not to be doing some sort of service project on MLK Day. I served in some capacity for the past 4 or 5 years, but this year I spent the day at the beach in Hawaii. *guilty face* I've done a lot of service in my lifetime, and currently I am working in a 6-month internship (that works with youth) for free! Ugh, I'm not going to justify it. I had an amazing weekend... AMAZING! And I vow to continue to serve whichever community I live in throughout the year, not just on a particular day of service. :)

Busy Week!

Since arriving back to Hawaii, it's been non-stop GO!

Gary has another intern, Kylie, here for the month of January working on creating/fleshing out a 4-H Song Book that will also include traditional Hawaiian songs (she's a music major). She's here doing this as a favor to Gary and to get credit for her J-term with Buena Vista University in Iowa. I find it slightly humorous that she is here for the same reasons I am - she knew Gary from Nebraska, talked to him for ideas/contacts, and he said "Come here!"

Kylie's family are good family friends with Gary & Karen, so they actually arrived before New Years to visit. Her family left the night I arrived back in town, and Kylie remained to finish out her one-month internship. Since Gary is on the mainland this week for a conference (which he almost didn't make it to, and it almost didn't happen because of all the bad snow storms) and Kylie is staying with Karen, we've been doing a lot of touristy things, going to dinners, and hanging out at Gary & Karen's house. Thus, I haven't been home that often, nor have I had time to do much else! No complaints here! To top it all of, Gary & Karen's son & significant other arrived Tuesday night for a two-week visit. Crazy busy, but lots of fun!

Work has seemed to go much faster this week, too! Maybe it's because Kylie comes to the office with me (which is nice because then I have someone to talk to, and we've been helping each other with our work). ***Side Note: Is it sad that I like her work better than mine and kind of want to switch? I miss my music major/minor days...*** Time could also be flying because I've been putting my nose to the grind-stone and actually making headway on my Capstone crap.

On the academic side of things, I've completed my Capstone Proposal and Human Subjects Review form. I submitted that along with my petition to Capstone in May yesterday. I had to submit them directly to the off-campus coordinator since my advisor decided to go MIA at the most crucial time of the year, but I confirmed with her that it was okay and she confirmed that my spot in the May Capstone was reserved unless my advisor says otherwise (once she comes back). I just want to be done with all of this... no joke.

Okay, back to work. I can't let the productivity train leave the station without me!

S.I.T.'s Lack of Support

Okay, I'm moving my complaint free bracelet to the other side and am going to take this opportunity to rant a little bit.

I'm thoroughly frustrated with how the off-campus portion of my degree program is structured. There is no support, no information, no assistance whatsoever! This isn't a new situation, nor am I the only person to be frustrated.

The school gave us an off-campus manual for our Reflective Practice Phase while still on campus during an all campus meeting about our off-campus phase. However, they didn't give us the manual in advance so we could review it and come to the meeting with clarification questions. They gave us a brief overview of the structure, and said to contact our off-campus coordinator if we had questions. Then they sent us off on our way.

I'd like to say here and now that our manual does not cover everything, nor does our online Moodle sight. Our advisors, being professors on-campus as well, are not helpful. In fact, they are MIA the majority of the time and when they do get back to us it leaves us with more questions than answers.

Information is hidden, or different people have different information, and it's difficult to clear answers from anyone. To top it off this is supposed to be a learning experience, but instead it seems like a cruel joke or experiment and that we're all out here without a freaking saftey net. I'm not sure S.I.T. even has any clue what their students are up to!

To top off my frustration, I just find out today that my advisor is out of the office til February 2nd. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that January is the month I need to petition to capstone for May, and that I'm also trying to submit my proposal before I petition. This also prevents me from asking questions of my advisor for my RPQ papers that are also due in a 2 months time. January is the completely WRONG month to take off if you're going to be an RPP advisor. I'm sorry, but that's just a fact.

I'm so frustrated with my whole off-campus experience that I just want to scream and walk away, but I've invested too much time, effort, and money to let this wretched institution win. I just want to finish and get the fuck out of there!

End of Transmission.

Hawaii doesn't have Snow Days :)

I've had an amazing weekend! It was the perfect way to welcome me back to Hawaii. Saturday night Karen and I went to see the musical "Into the Woods" presented by a local non-profit called HEARTS (Hawaii Education of the ARTS). Kylie, Gary's other intern for the month of January, assisted in the production, so Karen and I went to support her. I LOVE that musical, and to see middle and high school students knock it out of the park was amazing! They were so talented that you forgot they were only 12-17 years old! Seriously!

Today, Karen, Kylie and myself went to church, the Honolulu Swap-Meet (yes, I frequent there a lot), and Waikiki to the beach. It was just a nice relaxing day, and I finally had someone close(r) in age (Kylie is 20) to talk to. :) It was also an amazing time because we found out earlier in the day that the University of Nebraska, Lincoln Public Schools (and eventually Southeast Community College) cancelled classes for tomorrow because of how much snow they were getting and predicted to get. I also heard yesterday from my friend Deb that it was snowing and cold in Vermont. I may not have had snow this winter season, but I'm okay with that. It was glorious laying on a beach getting a tan, wearing a swimsuit, shorts and flipflops in 80 degree weather in January than the alternative.

The rest of this week in Honolulu is supposed to be rainy, but I'm okay with that too, because I got a day on the beach, I love rain, and that means I'll be forced to stay in doors and work on my Capstone crap. :) We may not have snow days, but I think I'm okay with that.

This year hasn't got me down yet! Yay 2011!!!

E Komo Mai!

I'm officially back in Honolulu. I had good flights (minor turbulence that made a [hot] marine grab my hand, but nothing too horrible), and was greeted with a warm 77 degrees Fahrenheit. Karen picked me up because Gary is in Washington D.C. for the next 10 days for a conference dealing with the $83,000 grant we received. Some of their guests were still in town - leaving later that night - and offered to have me join them for dinner.

It was an amazing homecoming! Everyone was so nice, we had good conversation, good food, and were able to connect about local news, events, and people in Nebraska that we all knew. :) I love small world connections... they definitely make the world go round!

Today it is a little bit on the chilly side here in Honolulu (not as cold as Nebraska, but enough to give me goosebumps for the majority of the day, and to be heavily overcast). I'm at work... not my favorite thing to be doing right when I get back, but I did have a longer break than most, so I'll deal. I'm trying to work up the motivation to be really productive on all this capstone crap, especially since I recently realized how little time I have left! *scary* Besides that it's been pretty chill (ha, in both senses since it's slightly chilly today!)... Welcome home!

I never thought I'd say this...

...but I don't want to leave. I'd rather stay in Nebraska than go back to Hawaii. Wait... what was that noise? Did Hell just freeze over?

I've had such a wonderful experience these past 3 weeks, that I'd be crazy to want to leave a good thing to go back to a place where it's not as paradise-like as people think. I like Hawaii and the people I know there, I love the warm weather, the laid-back atmosphere, the beauty... but I miss my friends, family, familiarity, etc. I'm not doing a very good job of articulating this...

I'm excited to go back to Hawaii because I'm excited for the warm weather, the beauty, and to finish up my project, but I'm going to miss Nebraska because of the people. Good news - I won't be gone for long!

February Capstone Week

I'm officially going to be attending S.I.T.'s Capstone week in February. Plane tickets have been purchased. I decided to spend money that I don't have to leave Hawaii for New England in the middle of the winter because I have never seen a Capstone presentation and thought it'd be a good idea to do so before it's my turn. (It's true, I never went to a Capstone while on campus - November 2009 I had classes and work, February - I was in NYC for class, May - I was so fed up with school I left as soon as I possibly could)

I'm flying in and out of Boston, and am planning on spending a portion of my time with people there, so if you're in the Boston area and want to meet up while I'm there, let me know! I'm also really excited because I'll be stopping in Nebraska on my way back to Hawaii. I have a training/meeting I have to be at, and since I'm on the mainland it's easier to stop by than if I were in Hawaii. This means that I'll only be back in Hawaii just over a month before I pack up and leave again. Once I get back to Hawaii after Capstone Week, I'll only be there roughly three more weeks before officially moving home. Weird. When you look at it that way, my time here is extremely limited!

A New Year, A New Perspective

First things, first: Hau'oli Makahiki Hou! (Happy New Year in Hawaiian, pronounced how-o-lee mah-kah-hee-kee ho) :)

I have been incredibly blessed this holiday season. It may seem small and insignificant to anyone else, but I'm incredibly grateful. My immediate family (strong focus on my mother & I) has gotten along the entire time I've been home, and my extended family didn't bicker or create any drama during holiday celebrations... in fact, we actually got along, too! To those who know me (and/or anything about my family) knows that this is HUGE! It's a first!

I also had an amazing, laid back New Years. It may have been frigid cold, but it was fun. Good friends, good times, good entertainment... :) It was an excellent way to start off the new year, if I do say so myself! Then to top it all off, I was able to reconnect with some old friends that I felt I had been slipping away from (which may or may not have included a boy-band themed night... don't judge).

I am just radiating happiness and have an overall good feeling about things. I'm not saying it's going to be a smooth year, but I'm confident in what's to come and excited to see what's next (unlike last year where I was dreading the year and what it held). Bring it, 2011... bring it!