To update on my practicum decisions, I have officially switched to a new cluster. This happened a few weeks ago (which is why I'm surprised I didn't mention it earlier... sorry!), and I already feel tremendously better about everything. I just think the old cluster was a hindering environment for all involved, and my stepping out will help.
I didn't come to this decision lightly, as many of you know from my multiple posts about it and talking with me over the past couple of months. Ultimately it came down to dissecting how things got to where they were and understanding in the reasons behind them, then to map out how I'd like the rest of my practicum phase to go, and how I saw it going if I stayed a part of my original cluster or if I were to switch. There were many conversations with a trusted professor, and some very trusted peers who already knew of this situation.
Essentially, there were many examples of social identity issues, multicultural (org/team) behavioral issues, and intercultural communication issues at foot in the situation, and I needed to learn my lessons from it and also understand that I was made an example by others, and not to personalize it as much as I did. I think this is where switching to a new cluster was needed. If I would've remained in my original cluster I most likely would've continued being made the example, which is not fair to me, my practicum, or anyone else in that cluster. I am still connected to that cluster via the online portal, but I do not participate.
Since being in my new cluster I've felt like weight has been lifted off my shoulders, my thinking is cleared again to the point where I can start outlining what I want to do with my practicum, and I can focus on something other than this situation. Definitely a healthy move. I'm not 100% positive that changing the focus of my practicum to training design was the best choice (I can most likely make it work because there are training aspects to my position), but it seemed like the best fit at the time and was suggested by the professor I was talking to. I'll figure it out. Also, just because I switched clusters doesn't mean that I'm not still a bit wary of this situation popping up again... I'll just be in a more supportive place to deal with it.
Now, to update on the interfaith fellowship opportunity that I previously mentioned wanting really badly, but was hesitant to apply for... I finally decided to just go for it. I'll figure out the details of everything as it comes. I officially applied last week, and I feel really good about it. :) I need to start taking things one step at a time instead of trying to plan out everything because nothing ever works out as planned, and then I'm just disappointed. Maybe that should be my New Year's resolution? hmmmmm.... ;) I'll keep y'all posted on if I get it or not.
Grant opportunity updates: Since the drama of the last grant, things have moved forward (like things always tend to do :P). Despite Gary being on the mainland for 3 weeks for multiple meetings/conferences, we wrote a proposal for an Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention grant and was awarded just around $83,000!!! Crazy, right?! Now we're discussing whether or not to try for some Youth Service America grants - they may be significantly smaller, but their resources/networking/support is superb! AND I have experience with their grants from composing and managing them during my time with ServeNebraska - the Nebraska Volunteer Service Commission. As much as I like finding new opportunities for organizations & programming, I had to admit that I'm not fond of how much of my position seems to be grant oriented. My one complaint (yes, moving complaint bracelet). If it still seems to be a concern after my holiday break, I'll talk to Gary.
As always, my friends are my greatest support system. Thank you Charles, Megan S, Megan MK, Lydia, Monica, Katie, Chris, Caitlin, Tam, Nick S, Nick P, Joe E, Elaine, Tom, Vanessa and Rosie for keeping me sane and with company over the past few weeks! :)
I'm sure there are more updates, but I just can't think of them at the moment. If you think of anything, please do let me know and I'll be sure to update!!!
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