I'm so frustrated right now! I've been home a grand total of 2 days and I'm at a complete loss of why I even bothered to come here in the first place! To back up a bit, I originally decided to come home because I was slightly homesick, my grandmother had mentioned how she'd really like someone to be around for the anniversary of my grandfather's death (and I knew no one else would step up to be there for her), it was the week leading up to my birthday, and because I was already going to be on the mainland for a conference... it all made logical sense to come home! Then I found out my father was going to have back surgery so it was even better that I was heading home.
Little did I know, but that was all wrong. My trip started out crappy. My father couldn't come to the airport to get me because of his surgery so I set up a ride with my friend Charles. However, Charles had a meeting that ran long and I had to sit at the airport for almost two hours. Not anyone's fault, but still not a great start to my week home. When I got home I thought things would get better, but although my mother was cordial to me, she wasn't ecstatic about me being there. I escaped my house after checking in on my father by basically forcing my friend Megan S. to go to Barnes n' Noble with me. I would've gone to visit my grandmother, but when she found out I wasn't getting into town until later she decided to go spend the night at her cousin, Dot's, house. After my short hour with Megan S., I went home to crash.
I woke up Friday hoping that a new day meant a new start. WRONG! My mother has taken the week off to help my father out, so she was around all day. Again, she was cordial, but not nice. I escaped to go visit my grandmother. She was happy to see me, but too busy to actually chat (her and my uncle were putting away outdoor items before it gets cold). So I headed back home, and that is where I remained for the rest of the day. Two of my friends bailed on me and I couldn't get a hold of any others. Even my brother was "too tired" to hang out with his older sister, so everyone went to bed early and I sat there watching old NCIS episodes until I got to bored and angry to watch anymore.
Today. I woke up excited because today is the Husker gave vs. Mizzou, and the day that I'm supposed to go to a pumpkin patch with Monica, Lydia, Yvette, and Megan H. Only, things haven't gone as planned. Yvette and Megan H. don't want to go to a pumpkin patch (even though Lydia, Monica, and I have been planning this for the past month and a half), so since Lydia is hosting them she's bailing too. Also, I tried to go to the Husker game since I was in town, but my only hope was Megan MK, and she didn't come through for me. Not her fault, but still sucky, so I tried to get a hold of Monica to see if I could watch it with her. Nope... she was watching it with her boyfriend George. So I stayed home and started watching it with my parents. And as predicted that didn't go over well. My mother and I had watched Game Day on ESPN earlier in the morning and when the game came on she tried to tell my father a statistic they had given on Game Day but couldn't remember it. I helped her out... or I *thought* I helped her out, but she viewed it as me correcting her so she got pissed off.
Basically, I'm not allowed to watch the remainder of the game with my family because my mother is throwing a hissy fit and refuses to be in the same room as me, and my father is pissed off that it's only been two days and we can't get along. NOT MY FAULT! On top of all of this, I've text a number of my friends just to let them know I'm in town and asking if they want to hang out sometime while I'm here, and NONE of them have answered. So now I'm sitting in my room, pissed off, upset, angry, bored, and wondering why the fuck I came back! >:(
I know that I'm being overly dramatic right now, but I'm just so frustrated! I mean, if I wanted to feel alone, I would've preferred to be lonely in Hawaii where I at least felt people at home missed me and wanted me around... but being here right now feels like no one cares I'm here or necessarily wants me around. I know, not true, but I can't help how it feels. I didn't need to spend lots of money to come home and feel like shit...
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