In the midst of all of this, when I should be able to contact my advisor and peers for clarification and support, I feel more disconnected from S.I.T. than ever. I'm not the only one, either. I've talked to a few of my friends from school over the past week and they feel varying degrees of separation too (and some of them are nearby the school and resources). This just leads me to believe that this off-campus phase is not design efficiently enough.
I contacted a professor on campus that I trust and that I know cares about me. I just needed another perspective on this whole situation and some advice on my RPP since my advisor hasn't returned any of my calls or emails. We first discussed the public accusation situation, and this professor was flabbergasted that things had escalated as much as they had. And to be fair I did not put any of my own commentary into the explanation of the situation, but rather let the transcripts of the communication (the forum postings and emails) speak for themselves.
Since my initial conversation with this professor we have talked a few more times. Each conversation we had consisted of this professor checking in on my well being (which was greatly appreciated) and us discussing a number of options for moving forward. During our last conversation, however, they brought up concern that they felt my current cluster was proving to be too toxic of an environment to allow for the continuation of my learning (due to the lack of willingness to have mediated dialog and for the situation to be a learning opportunity rather than an outlet to express emotions on issues), and that perhaps I should switch clusters and then write one of my RPQs (Reflective Practice Question papers) on this situation and how it could've been handled differently/what I learned from it.
I've toyed with the idea of switching clusters before this professor suggested it, but had previously shied away from it because I didn't want it to seem like I was running away from the issue. However, after having these conversations, and mulling over multiple options for moving forward, this might be better for my well-being, as well as for helping me complete my practicum.
Switch clusters! Problem solved! Right? Nope. You'd think it'd be that simple, but no.
Now I'm in the position of trying to figure out exactly how to focus my RPP. The reason I need to decide this first is because if I want to switch to a course-linked capstone (CLC), I need to know that before I request to switch clusters because that will determine which advisor I get assigned to. Right now I'm stuck between doing a TDEL (Training Design for Experiential Learning) CLC or doing an IPIC (Independent Practitioner's Inquiry Capstone) focused on ethics. The ethics topic first came to me after a training that I observed, but has grown since this practicum situation has occurred. I feel there are a lot of ethical questions that have been raised during my time here, and I'm interested in diving further into it... however, if I did the ethics IPIC I'd have a lot more work to do and if I didn't handle the topic just right it could blow up in my face. The training topic would be the easier of the two, but I'm worried it might not completely fit what I do here.
How do I always get myself into these situations?
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