Conundrum, no?
Despite all of this, Nebraska is still home, and I'm sad that I just left it (even if parts of my time there were shitty). Here's a recap...
Wednesday evening I went shopping with Monica and grabbed drinks with Megan MK. (Side note: I hate when all my friends wait til the last minute to hang out with me when I'm home b/c then I have to double book and run from one friend to the other.) My last day in town was a roller-coaster of a ride. I was still dealing with all this practicum cluster drama, and met up with some friends to vent and take my mind off of things as the Korn-popper in downtown Lincoln. (Side note #2: It was cold! I love and miss fall, but am glad I came back to the warm sunshine of Hawaii) Later in the afternoon I helped some old friends set up for a TEC Retreat weekend that I used to do when I was in high school. It was soooooo amazing to see friends I haven't seen in forever, but it made me sad that I couldn't stay and be a part of the weekend.
I also had a goodbye/early birthday dinner with my family and grandmother. It was disastrous, but not for reasons you might expect. Everything was fine until my brother announced that he had done something horrible and that my parents were probably going to kill him. Turns out that he was involved in a hit and run (he fled the scene because he panicked), and he didn't know what to do. It was a pretty bad situation and so many emotions were running through everyone that the meal was pretty much the last thing on all of our minds. Also, due to this fiasco, I didn't get to plan Megan S's visit to Hawaii like we were planning. Now we'll have to do it via skype.
I spent what little I had of the rest of the evening decompressing from the dramas of the day at the Coffee House because I couldn't be around my family, and I needed some me time where I could be productive (the Coffee House has been my productivity location in the past). However, I wasn't very productive, nor did I decompress from the day's dramas very well because my friend Chase randomly showed up and ended up distracting me (and riling me up more) for the rest of the evening. This led me to spending a lot of my (non-sleeping) time during my flights fretting over these two uncontrollable situations.
Why do I always do that? Worry about things I have no control over... Ugh.
Anyway, I'm now back in Hawaii. I have mixed emotions about being here, too. I'm grateful for the warm, beautiful weather, but am not thrilled to be dropped back into my practicum when I still feel like I don't do anything worthwhile and that all this drama is surrounding. Also, I went from a place where I have friends - who might be busy, but will still be there if I truly needed an escape - to a place where I have to be chauffeured around and have no one to hang out with (except my boss and his wife). AND it's the day before my 25th birthday.
Okay, okay! *moving complaint free bracelet* I'm not doing very well with this yet, am I?
Tonight was fun, though. Gary and Karen took me to the Hawaii Women's Volleyball game against Hawaii Pacific University (HPU). It was a slaughter, but we managed to move really close to the floor, see Eliza - the girl who we ran into at the Varsity who happens to be Gary & Karen's old neighbor from Lincoln - who happens to be the trainer for HPU, and see some incredible action!
To make a long story short, I left one home for another... and maybe I am a "the grass is always greener on the other side" type of girl, but I am super grateful for my experiences and reflect positively on practically all of them. I know I'll look back on my time here in Hawaii and miss it tremendously. 'Til that day comes, I just need to figure out how to make the most of it... and how not to miss my love-hate state of Nebraska too much. :)
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