A Birthday Mediation

Happy Birthday to me!

Today we had a six-hour mediation with our Foundation board. This was the reason I had to fly back to Hawaii before my birthday. I do admit that it was a good meeting to sit in on. I took lots of notes... seven pages worth! I'll try to concisely summarize (wish me luck!)...

This mediation was planned because of the resignation ruckus that was happening. The good thing about setting up this mediation is that it was requested by the group rather than it being forced upon the group. We (as in the state office) brought in a neutral mediator. She had each participant of the meeting state what they wanted to get out of this meeting. Their answers ranged from questions on how the board operates to structural changes to how the organization can survive.

The group talked about a lot of issues, and came to the conclusion (unfortunately) that a lot of the problems they are facing are outside of their control. They also came to the realization that if things don't change soon, Hawaii 4-H may cease to exist. At the end of the meeting they were trying to focus on what they as a board could do and focus on. There is so much more I could fill y'all in on the six-hour meeting, but then I'd have to get into details... so instead I'll just share some good quotes that came out of the meeting that I starred in my notes:

• "The problem was here way before Gary got here."
• "This passive aggressive crap is irritating!"
• "Gary [filling the State Leader position] got people nervous about the way things have always been, but the truth is he's picking a dying program up by the bootstraps. He's one guy trying to do what a number of people should be doing. He shouldn't have to try to be Superman!"
• "Without passionate alumni and volunteers - wherever they may come from - this program would be dead because we have little to no staff to do anything. We can't place burden and blame on those willing to help."
• "People don't understand the impact internet and email communication can have when accusations are publicly raised. When we have a disagreement we need to face people directly and not behind their back or to others."
• "We've lost camaraderie, support, sense of purpose. We're more divided now. We should start working together."
• "It's not Gary's fault. Whoever took the position was walking into a pile of shit."

When I heard those quotes, I was happy for multiple reasons. I was glad they were talking about real issues and being frank with everyone, and some of those quotes made me think of the crappy situation (parts 1 & 2) going on with my practicum cluster. I really wanted to record that portion of what they were saying and send it to the students who are making accusations about me.

My critique of the mediator is that she was very personable so she set the atmosphere for the days event nicely. She utilized good active listening skills, and summarized what each participant said to make sure she understood them. She also worked very hard in the beginning to set norms and make it a "safe place" for people to communicate. However, I wasn't impressed about how she talked more than the participants, made over-assumptions in her summarizations, or how she was making suggestions/problem-solving for the group. For the most part she did an excellent job, but she toed the line quite a bit, and sometimes I felt she crossed it.

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In other news... Today is my 25th birthday! I am officially a quarter of a century year old! Crazy! And despite my predictions (due to an all day mediation meeting and being away from home w/o friends or family), my birthday wasn't a total bust. In fact, I had a really good time! Today's meeting was successful and rejuvenating, the board members went out of their way to get me a cake, and Gary & Karen took me out to eat for my birthday and got me some presents to remember Hawaii by (which they totally didn't have to do!!!)! :) It was an amazing day and evening, and I feel very grateful to be where I am... 25 years later.