Today didn't start out bad. It was my first day back in the office since Monday (I worked from home the past two days for multiple reasons, one of which was the damn high school like antics from Monday). It was quiet... for the most part (no people around to annoy me, but periodic construction outside is horrible with this building's open-air design... It's okay though, I had my headphones with me). Gary worked from home because the University is renovating his building, and his mother & aunt are in town... meaning I didn't have a particular assignment today so I could work on academics or other things if necessary. Seems like I should've had a pretty low-key day...
I did... for the most part. It turned bad this afternoon when, over lunch, I decided to job search for when I move back to the mainland come March. I thought it would be a good idea to get a jump on things. Every one's been asking me what I'm going to do next, am I moving back to Nebraska, what I want to do with my life, if I'm going to wait until this summer to enter the "real world" or do it ASAP, etc, etc, etc. I hate those types of questions. Mainly because I don't have the answers and I hate asking those questions of myself so I really don't like it when other people shove them under my nose... publicly. I also hate how I'm in this position nearly every year! I can't remember a single year since my junior year of college where I haven't had to find answers to these questions. That was the Spring of 2006.
Anyway, I was job searching, looking at types of jobs first (you know, avoiding the location question). I came up short on opportunities. Then I started looking for jobs specifically around Nebraska... thinking that at least I could find something short term - if not long term - to tide me over. I came up short on opportunities. After an a couple hours (way past the end of my lunch), and one job not even closely related to my field of interest applied for, I started panicking.
I tried to clear my mind of those troubles by working on my RPQs. That didn't work since I've been having major writer's block in that department for over a month now. It just made me panic more. I know, I know... probably not the smartest move in the book jumping to an activity that I was already having trouble in to escape another, but it was the first thing my brain jumped to - productivity.
That's when the noise of the construction became much more intrusive. Let's just say, it kept spiraling down...
I would just like to say that I have good friends. Thanks to Rosie, Lydia, Charles, and Megan S. helped to calm me down. They might not all know that they helped, but they did. The all played vital roles in cheering me up and making me look on the bright side. It also helped that Tai Chi started back up tonight. I wasn't necessarily in the mood to go, especially after Gary & Karen bailed due to work loads & meetings, but with the outlook that they were letting me borrow a car for the evening, it would get me out of the house (that I've been trapped in for the past 2 days), and it would provide an opportunity to "clear my mind," I went. It definitely helped, as did the trip to Barnes n' Noble afterwards. I love me some books!
So, I've had a bad day. It may not seem all that bad, but in the thick of it, it sucked... as do all bad days. Things have gotten better as the evening has progressed, but those concerns are still there. My new mantra is one day and/or hour at a time (sometimes even days are getting too long to plan for). ;)
Before I end this transmission, I want to share a "Bad Day" ritual. When I was in college, and I had a horrible day, I would go to my room, shut the door, and blast my bad day music. I haven't really practiced this ritual (much) since college, but today, with all that racket the construction crew was making, and being by myself in the building, I just jammed out. The following song is the main bad day song of the playlist. Enjoy!
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