Tsunami Warning

The past 24 hours have been crazy intense. As I'm sure you're all aware, there was a massive earthquake off the coast of Japan last night (afternoon for them), and that created a tsunami that hit Japan and made it's way East toward Hawai'i and the West Coast of the United States.

I've had many people inquiring as to my status of well-being and my experience, so instead of replay the scene over and over again, I'll write it up here for all to see.

First off, as I posted to Facebook earlier today:

To my friends & family who have been concerned and/or curious as to my status in the Hawai'i Tsunami Warning earlier today, I am well & unharmed. Thanks for your inquires, well wishes, thoughts & prayers! *Please now readdress them toward Japan.* As far as my flight, I have heard of no delays as of yet, and still plan on an on-time departure later today. Mahalo and Aloha! :)

To be honest, I wasn't even aware of the earthquake or it's following tsunami until my friend Chase text me and asked if I was in a tsunami warning. I was engulfed in Capstone writing that evening and hadn't turned on a television or looked at twitter in preceding hours. I immediately turned on the TV, and the exact second I did the tsunami sirens began to go off all around the islands. I immediately contacted my father (who works the night shift so I knew he'd be awake with it being just before 2:00am CST) to inform him of the situation so he didn't end up finding out some other way and then worrying if I was okay and wondering why I hadn't contacted him.

Then I proceeding to be glued to the TV and Twitter for the remainder of the evening. The Tsunami warning came just before 10:00pm for us in Hawai'i, and the waves weren't predicted to make it to Hawai'i until after 3:00am. Thus, there was nothing to do but sit and wait. I did panic for about a half hour as I tried to figure out if I was in an "Evacuation Zone," but I eventually figured out that I was just north of the evac zone and could sit tight. The Tsunami sirens continued to go off every hour for about 5-10 minutes, so even if I had wanted to sleep I highly doubt that I would've been able to.

I also passed the time by posting updates to Twitter and trying to calm my friend Megan down (the one who visited me over Thanksgiving) because not only was I in Hawai'i, but her parents were there on a cruise docked at Kaua'i (the first island to be hit). I spent a good amount of time trying to explain to her why it was safer for them to go out to sea instead of remain in the harbor, however I'm sure my words went in one ear and out the other. Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to that wasn't overly concerned that I was going to die any minute.

The waves came sometime between 3:30 and 4:30am. It hit each island at different times and with different intensities. O'ahu (where I was) had higher tidal waves, where Maui had 8+ ft tsunami waves crash into Kahului Harbor, and Hilo (on the East side of the big island) had 3-4 ft tsunami waves. We by no means had it bad compared to Japan, but we did have damage. You can see some of the damage here: http://bit.ly/fM9YMX.

Needless to say, I was up all night, I wasn't in severe danger, I survived, I'm okay, and things essentially went back to "normal" today (I mean the "ding-ding man," aka the Ice Cream Man, was out and about today).

I'm sure there is more I could update you on, but really, I'm tired and my ride to the airport will be here soon. Just know that I'm safe, I'm unharmed, and I'm on my way back to the mainland within the next couple of hours. :)

The Beginning of the End

Earlier this morning I dropped off my boss and his wife at the airport. They have officially embarked on their 3 week vacation to Australia. I'm a little jealous, but to be honest, I'm more relieved that they are gone and that I can now begin my mini-farewell stay-cation of Hawaii before I move home Friday night. I am house-sitting for the remainder of this week (and my stay) for my boss. When I leave, his other intern (Lee) will take over until their house-guests arrive a week later (with my boss and his wife arriving halfway through their stay). Crazy, no?

Focusing on my little time left, it was nice to move out of Mark & Helene's (my host family). I spent the majority of my weekend packing, and immediately after dropping my boss & his wife off at the airport I moved my stuff down to their house. I'm very grateful to have this space to live, relax, and work for my last few days in Hawaii. To be able to spread out, watch TV, cook, come and go as I please (I have access and keys to both vehicles), and not having to answer to anyone is an amazingly wonderful feeling!

I plan to split the remainder of my time pretty evenly between sight-seeing, relaxing, and working on my Capstone crap. Now to stop rambling here and get on with this plan! :)

Job Frustrations

Okay... This post is going to be a complete venting of frustration. I'm moving my complaint-free bracelet to the other side and taking a deep breath before starting.

And.... go.

All day today, I've been about ready to go "Kill Bill" on someone. Not really, but still... I'm super frustrated. I've already typed out the majority of my current frustrations in an email to my friend, so I'm just going to copy & paste an edited version of that email here...

*NOTE: Profanity used beyond this point*

A summary of straws that eventually broke the camel's back:

Straw 1: My project proposal that was submitted back in January has still not been reviewed or approved by my school. This technically means I can't start working on my project (which is bullshit, because the project has already started, so I'm already working on it), but also means that there is a very high chance that my school has just screwed me over and wont let me graduate in May because they require so much time to actually complete the project and I might be out.

Straw 2: The technical last day for my internship was supposed to be the last day of February, which was Monday. However, being the nice person I am, I continued working this week justifying it with the following reasons: I just spent a week on the mainland that was not originally a part of nor related to my internship, my boss was on the mainland ever since I arrived back in Hawaii, I had already agreed to trainings and meetings after my "end-of-internship" date of which I needed to get ready for, and I had nothing else to do & didn't want to be stuck up on the mountain. I fully assumed, since my boss arrived home from the mainland yesterday, that today would be my last day considering I leave in a week and he & his wife leave for vacation on Tuesday (they originally asked me to stay beyond my last day to house-sit for a portion of their upcoming vacation providing me a place to stay and write and time to explore Hawaii before I left). However...

Straw 3: My boss just called me and asked me to do this laundry list of things, even prefacing it with "I've been going through my mail and emails that I received while I was on the mainland, and I need you to do some things for me so I can focus on getting some other things done before I [leave for vacation]..." a) this irks me because half the things on this list I don't know how to do, I don't have the contacts for, it's not a part of my job, and/or could be done a whole lot quicker if my boss just did them himself, b) this really just seems like he's dumping things on me, c) half of these things will take a long time to complete (meaning more than just today) and I'm supposed to be done...

Straw 4: He also told me about he just noticed that there is a mini-conference for a service-learning science grant we wrote that we are required to attend tomorrow. It's an all day event, and he can't go because he's already scheduled other appointments (granted, some are work related, but the majority are personal errands to complete before their trip) so he told me that I have to go. Never mind the fact that tomorrow is my last Saturday on the island, that beyond assisting in the writing of this grant I have nothing to do with this project (of which I would've gladly helped out on, but since it wasn't a part of my original position description I was kept separate from it), and - not to sound to redundant - I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DONE!!! I wanted to use tomorrow to pack, to sight-see, to sleep in, meet up with my friend's parents for lunch who are in town for a cruise, etc, but I don't get an option. I have to go to this conference that has nothing to do with me.

Straw 5: This shouldn't really be a straw, but it does put me in awkward situations so I'm including it. When my boss asked me to extend my stay in order to house-sit, he said that since I was supposed to be done by the end of February, that I would just move back in with them come March since that was all my host-family had agreed to host me for. So this week, when March rolled around I was clueless as to what was going to happen. My boss was on the mainland, his wife made no mention or hint toward me moving in with her, and my host family didn't say anything about me still being there, so I just went with it. I don't pay my rent check, so I stay out of the logistics as much as possible. However, just yesterday my host-"mother" asked when I headed back to the mainland. When I told her next weekend, she seemed a little taken back, like "oh, I didn't realize we were hosting her for half of March" (granted, this is my assumption of what she was thinking, she didn't actually say that). However, when I talked to my boss this morning, he made no mention of when I'd be moving to their place either. I can tell my host-family is confused by my continued presence, but I don't have any info to provide them, and it puts me in a weird position.

Straw 6: The people who work in my building are thoroughly pissing me off. They keep going through my shit, getting on my computer, stealing my printer, having people come and work in *MY* office, and then not bothering to talk to me at all. I know that I'm "almost" [technically should be] done, but I do exist! It'd be nice if they fucking acknowledged that.

Straw 7: My boss's wife and I are not seeing eye-to-eye as of late. It's nothing major, in fact it's quite minor, but it's been more exacerbated by my boss being away for these past 2 weeks.

Straw 8: I'm home sick. Mostly because I'm fed up with all the bullshit here and I miss my friends, but I KNOW the minute I move back to Lincoln I'm going to hate it. I'm already starting to dread living with my parents again.

Straw 9: I'm really getting nervous about my next steps. I've been job searching for the past month or so, but haven't found much. I'm especially nervous since I'm about to go home and face my parental units who are all about the end result of "what kind of job will this get you?" and I'm going to be technically unemployed and living under their roof. That does not add up to a good situation. AND add my "Straw 1" to this with the result possibly be extending my degree completion to July instead of May, and my parents are going to flip shit!

Straw 10: [A lot of personal crap that I don't really want to share here.]

I just want a reprieve! Is that so much to ask?!

So that's it. A lot of bitching and moaning, I know... but some of my concerns and frustrations are legit. I talked with my boss this evening and got a couple things cleared up, but it still doesn't completely clear up my frustration having my questions answered. In fact, with one of his answers I became more frustrated. Oh well... I only have a week left. I'm going to try to think as positively as I can and soak up as much sun as possible while doing it (I hear it's snowing back home - yuck!).

Last Week

The time has come. Today marks the first day of my last week as an intern with Hawai'i 4-H. It's hard to believe I'm here. I took a little time to look through all my postings since arriving here, and it's crazy to see the journey I've embarked on. There was a lot of negative aspects to it, but to be honest, I don't think I would trade it in for the world because when I look back I remember more of the good and the growth than I do the boredom and the bad.

It's a little strange that I'm looking ahead to this week as my last week because originally today was supposed to be my last day. I was supposed to be done by March 1st, which for those of you who can read a calendar is tomorrow. However, with my boss on the mainland for two weeks, me being here til the middle of the month to house-sit, and me taking an impromptu week off to head to Vermont, I'm working this week. I don't really have any complaints about doing so, except for maybe having to wake up early all this week ;)

It's just a little weird that this chapter in my education, and in my life is coming to a close. Now, let's hope that I learned/gained enough from this experience to actually produce a paper/presentation out of it!

Training Recap

Last night's training was a success. As I stated earlier, there were only a few ways that this could be labeled a failure, so I was pretty much in the clear from the get-go, but still... it's nice to have it behind me and have notes on what went well and what didn't for the next group.

I'm glad I took TDEL (Training Design for Experiential Learning) because not only did it give me skills and activities to fall back on, it gave me an understanding of how to gauge my audience and make adjustments mid-presentation. I was also able to evaluate my performance throughout the workshop without letting it hinder what I was doing in the present. It's hard to believe that I tried getting out of that class (having already had hundreds of hours of training & facilitation experience), but I'm glad I powered through it. :)

I would say the biggest gaffe of the evening was when my screensaver of photos came on and I didn't realize it for a few minutes. Thankfully, nothing too embarrassing came up and I was able to spin it as a point in the conversation we were having. The biggest success was seeing the gears turning in these teenagers heads and having them request more sources of information to assist them in furthering the discussion. *Let the hallelujah chorus sing*

There are so many details from my notes that I could share, but instead of sitting around here and going over the play-by-play I'd rather start analyzing the experience and matching it to theory in order to start getting some of this down on paper! Capstone writing... and go!

Training Prep

Ever since I arrived back in Hawaii I've been prepping for a workshop/training I'm facilitating tonight. Technically I've been brainstorming and discussing this workshop with the club leader of the group I'll be working with since before I left for the mainland, but haven't concretely done anything til this week.

The workshop/training is on culture, identity, and self-promotion. It may seem like an odd combo of topics, but trust me they go together in context of the larger Cultural/Diversity Event we have coming up in April.

I'm super excited for this training tonight, but I'm nervous as hell too! I'm finally implementing my thesis work that I've been planning and prepping and proposing over the past 6 months, so it's a little surreal and scary. Tonight's topics are sensitive territory, but I know the approach I'm taking isn't threatening for this audience. Basically, I'm pretty confident that even if I crash and burn tonight that they 4-H members will still get something out of it by simply brainstorming about the topics. I don't think I'll crash and burn, but I am nervous about expectations from the parents of these teenagers.

Keep your fingers crossed! Updates to come! :)

Let the games begin!

Back to reality! I'm back in Hawai'i, back at work, and after this past crazy intense filled week, it's time to hit the ground running! I have my work cut out for me if I want to graduate in May, and I only have 3 weeks left here in Hawai'i. Hence, the clock is ticking!

Let the games begin!

“Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave & grow old wanting to get back to”

I don't think I could say it any better than this John Ed Pearce quote. I've always had a love-hate relationship with home and all that's connected to it, including Nebraska in general. However, ever since I started graduate school I've come to view my home differently than I ever expected. There are still the days that I want to throw my hands up in the air, leave, and never return, but then there are the moments when I'm so blissfully content while I'm home that I never want to leave.

I've been having more and more of those moments in the past few months... only I can't tell if it's because I'm not happy where I'm at the majority of the other time, my friends/family are pulling out the stops while I'm there, and because it's such a short stint of time that's making me content with home or if I really am starting to change my perspective of the place that used to seem like such a prison for me.

This is especially relevant to the fact that I'm currently job searching for my next step after my practicum is over. Before I would've never thought I'd be seriously looking in Nebraska, especially Lincoln, for a "real" job, but now I am. Don't get me wrong, it's not the *ONLY* place I'm looking for a job, but I've opened up my search to include Lincoln and Nebraska. I mean, logistically, it's smart because I have a support system already established there, but still... it's just a little weird for me.

Basically, this is a long way of saying that I am home for the weekend before heading back to Hawai'i, and so far I feel really welcomed. I feel happy. I feel hope. HOWEVER, I can also feel how things have not changed, and how I could end up feeling stuck again. Why can't we ever have the best of both worlds?

Good People

Anyone who knows Professor Ken Williams knows his catch phrase of "Good People" or "Not so Good People." This morning I got to witness and be recipient of such "good people." After observing the last Capstone of my time here in New England, I had to rush and photocopy a bunch of sources that a professor gave me so that I could get them back to her before heading out of town. There were A LOT of resources that this professor dubbed as "just a little 'light reading'" and I was seriously afraid that I wouldn't be able to get it all copied in time.

What made the morning so amazing and allowed me to witness that "Good People" in progress was that my friends all selflessly came to my rescue. They helped me organize the sources to make them easier for copying, they kept me company while I was copying, they did whatever they could to be of service and to just be there for me in my time of stress. Also, a woman that I've never met before (a current SIT student who happened to be working in the computer lab this morning), helped me copy. She didn't have to, and I could tell she didn't want to, but she went out of her way to help me and make the process go faster. I am VERY grateful and couldn't stop expressing my gratitude to the point I think she was getting annoyed. Whoops!

I truly learned the definition of "Good People" this morning and this past week. As stated before, I am truly grateful and blessed to have such "Good [friends and] People" in my life. :)

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

Although I've been here in Vermont for the specific purpose of observing Capstones and meeting with professors, I have been blessed with the most amazing friends! Last night, on Valentine's Day, instead of people quartering themselves off with a certain special someone, 6 of us got together and had a potluck dinner.

I've never had a better Valentine's Day, and that isn't a reflection on past V-Day's, but more that last night was that amazing! The evening started out as, "Hey, restaurants are going to be crazy packed tonight, let's make a homemade dinner." Then the list of people joining us kept growing so that people could all hangout with each other before those of us visiting left town. The original idea for the potluck is that Caitlin was going to make an herb infused stuffed chicken and the rest of us would make sides, however it turned into a 5 course meal with everyone preparing enough food for one course. Whoops! I would be lying if I didn't say this meal gave Thanksgiving meals a run for their money. Everything was absolutely delicious, so I'm not complaining, but I do think I may have permanently injured my stomach. ;)

There were so many high points of the evening that I can't even begin to explain them all, but just know that I am extremely grateful!

The fun didn't just end there! Tonight a few of us got together with another friend for dinner at her apartment. She made us the most amazing Moroccan dish - *scrumptious* - and we played board games to pass the time. This is what I miss. I miss just spending time with good friends and enjoying each other's company instead of it becoming a forced ordeal. This is what has been missing during my time in Hawaii, as well as some of the times I visit Nebraska.

I am truly grateful for the amazing friends, food, and festivities of my time here in Vermont, and I am sad to leave tomorrow. Thanks, friends!

A Marathon of Capstones

I have sat through 3 Capstones thus far. Some good, some bad. I'm definitely getting a lot of pointers on what to do/not to do. That's one of the reasons I came, so I am thankful for that, but I wish I could get a clearer understanding of what the evaluators (professors/advisors) are looking for. I haven't been able to sit in on any Feedback sessions yet, and I think that will be one of the most valuable parts to observe! Hopefully I will be able to tomorrow morning!

One of the presenters I witnessed today was a girl named Maggie. I really connected with her and her experience (which are very similar to myself). She also had a solid presentation, even if some of her peers were judging petty things she had no control over. Tam and I caught up with her after her presentation and she traded contact info with us so that she could get feedback about her presentation and to be a resource for us. So grateful!!!

I also learned, by observation only, that it isn't as easy as it looks. I saw many a red-eye from presenters after their presentations and feedback sessions. I can only imagine how that will go when I have to do it. Joy.

One more Capstone to sit through tomorrow morning, then it'll be time to dive headfirst into mine!